When I went I moved into my new office a few years ago, one
of the benefits of its location was that there were three donut shops all
within a short distance of it. My
favorite by far is Krispy Kreme- did I mention I’ve got a terrible sweet tooth?
When I talk to clients about making positive change, one
thing that often comes up is motivation.
Change is always stressful and habits (even bad ones) usually have some
pay off. So let’s say you want to reduce
your social drinking. While there will
be benefits, there will also be costs (less time with friends at happy hour,
etc.). You want to be more organized in
the morning? Great, but you’ll have to
give up some free time to organize closets, etc.
So when someone tells me, “I really want ________ but as
hard as I’ve tried I can’t accomplish it” the first thing I question is the
cost/benefit ratio. I call this the
Krispy Kreme theory based on my own experience of trying to reduce the amount
of sweets I eat.
Currently I’m in the
midst of trying to improve my health to get ready for a hiking trip. One of my strategies was to give up my lovely
Krispy Kreme doughnuts, which on most days I can do just fine (the benefit of
improving my health outweighs the yummy short term benefit of the taste). But every now and then I’ll be having a rough
day and just can’t resist. For me, the
need the donut meets on a stressful day outweighs my desire to improve my
health. Hence, the Krispy Kreme theory
of motivation is that we only can make positive change when the benefit
outweighs the costs.
So if you are trying to make positive change and it seems
like it’s impossible to make progress, ask yourself “What need is this habit
meeting?” “Is there some benefit to not
making change?” “Is there a cost to
making change that is just too painful?”
Once you have a good assessment of all the cost and benefits you can
start overcoming obstacles and find ways to have meet need while supporting
your goal.
For me, when I need a break from a bad day, I don’t just say
too bad – suck it up. Instead, I’ve
found a few ways to give myself a treat that doesn’t go against my long term
goal of improving health. I might watch
an episode of my favorite TV show on Netflix, have lunch with a friend, or buy
some new fun nail polish. I get the need
met by treating myself but doing it in a different way.
Good luck with your goals and if you need some inspiration,
I highly recommend the pumpkin spice cake donut from Krispy Kreme J.
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