Fish, House Guests, and Destructive Emotions....After 3 Days They Need To Go!

I have a good friend that has a saying, "House guests are like fish, after 3 days they need to be thrown out".  Now I have to add that I'm very lucky that I have great relatives and house guests.  I'm actually usually sad to see them go.  But, I do think it could be a good rule for destructive emotions. 

In Eastern philosophies we are challenged to not ever have negative emotions (anger, resentment, jealousy, etc.) but for most of us we're not quite ready for that level of enlightenment :-) But I do think it is very attainable to set limits for ourselves for how long we'll allow those negative emotions to interfere with our lives.  Let me give you an extreme example that just happened for me. 

You guys may not know but I recently lost my best friend.  My dachshund dog who had been by my side for almost 10 years passed away Sunday a week ago.  When this happened I was overwhelmed with grief.  I am lucky that I have a schedule that I can adjust and was able to take some time off to really grieve.  During this time it wasn't pretty and I had a lot of VERY strong emotions.  I cried, I got mad, I blamed myself, I blamed others and I cried some more.  But after a couple of days I forced myself to start living again.  I went to work, I made dinner, I returned phone calls and emails.  While I was still sad for sure, but I used tools so that it wasn't overwhelming and interfering. 

I know some people can't relate to the loss of a pet but maybe you can relate it to any situation that brought up a strong negative emotion.  Maybe a betrayal by a friend, an injustice at work, or overwhelmed with a situation.  Whether the emotion is sadness, anger, betrayal, or something else, the idea is that don't let it hangover you for too long.  Dont' let that negative emotion take root.  Acknowledge it without avoiding it but also making a conscious effort to move forward.  Grant it some losses or circumstance may take longer (and small things like traffic shouldn't take you three days) but the concept is the same.  You don't want to be still feeling that same negative emotion over an incident 2 weeks later, a month later, a year later.

So next time you feel yourself "stuck" with a negative feeling, ask yourself "Have I given myself time to deal with this situation?" and if so, make a plan to move forward.  Today is international day of happiness.  Though I continue to grieve through my loss, I am able to identify a multitude of things that bring me joy (including the opportunity to know and work with so many cool people).    Have a great week!